Iridescence — poem

The day I died drowning
was the greatest day of my little life
sometimes — thats what i think

It could have been in an apartment pool
or the colorado river
or pushed off the pier
In my dreams
i always end up here

under blue iridescence
with sunlight beaming through
caressing my retinas
spinning uncontrollably

here i am under
floating as it seems
taking in the wonder
of losing everything

but somehow, as I search for bits of air
i am not afraid
for that I am stronger than you
i know what it’s like to die
my thin skin pale and blue
— and the beautiful part of it all
is that I wouldn’t have had a clue

for that I am not afraid
of leaving you or anything behind

I say this but i know i didn’t die
when someone saved me
i inhaled the highest high

the world was spinning still

but

when it went away i’d walk, talk and write
do all the things i wouldn’t have
if i were not alive